Stumbling Towards Caffeine

So there are very few skeletons left so I decided to make a list of things I am happy for. Some of them are food related or animal related but whatever... Florence Italy: Spending 3 months there gave me a gift of self esteem and to cement who I am and to challenge it with every fiber until I was certain. Also Sorbet and Bunny...oh and Art. SO MUCH ART O_O... My family: Sure they are weird and twisty but they are mine and they are AMAZING. Enough said. My pets: Sure one is hyper-thyroid and  the other one is going blind in one eye but they are mine so I am prejudice. They have been there for over half of my life and helped me through a lot of oogie times. My friends: Almost as important as family so just read my family and add allowing me to swear and be myself no matter what. That is all for now but trust me this list is LONG.

            Since I have come back from Florence three things have become apparent. The first is that I now think of myself as pretty that has not happened in almost ten years. The second is that I still have a lot of work to do still on how I view myself and allow others to sway my feeling of worth. The third, and something I will always struggle with is living with fear.             Living with fear is hard. REALLY hard. For instance, I just had a small panic attack at 11pm because I felt afraid of dying due to a small bump. So, being an adult with a level head, I went to my mom, woke her up, and had her reassure me that I was going to be okay. Now reader, this might not be healthy or even sane; but, was the only thing my brain could think of. This is what a crazy person does, or would do if they lived with their mother for a summer before College. ...