Pride

Pride and Being Bisexual

I came out to myself when I was thirteen years old. My first girlfriend was the most intense, difficult, and amazing learning experience I have ever had. I was lucky. My parents accepted it. My family accepted it. My High School was open and had an LGBT club. I was able to have amazing experiences while being proud and visible with the people I loved.
            Looking back now I took it for granted.  I was never bullied for being bisexual. I never lived in fear. I never feared enough to stay in the closet. There are so many people, There were so many people. When I was older my mom told me that when I told her all she could think was about Matthew Sheppard. This boy that was killed because such intense fear that it turned into hate.
Now Orlando.
That morning I looked at my phone. I pulled out my rainbow flag. I put it on my door. I cried. I yelled. How so much hate could turn into something so horrible mystified me. For a moment there was no compassion. There was only anger and grief for the people I never met.

Pride. The time to celebrate our identity. My identity. The scariest moments of coming out. The best moments of being myself. There are candles to be lit tomorrow. For the people who carried us on their shoulders, the people who died from AIDS. From Hate. From Fear. For the people who are so afraid to come out of the closet, they feel trapped. For the people feeling un-loved and un-seen for their identity as LGBTQIA. This is a day for them, for us, and for me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Note on Death

Image
I will pre-empt this by saying I have grieved over Bowie. Over Prince. Over countless people who made positive imprints on the world. Over cousins and aunts and uncles and in that moment, all death seems blindingly visible. There is death. Death feels like it can take and steal. Death is most visible when someone famous or noteworthy dies. People flock. People spend weeks lamenting over a figure that represented something or the World thought was important. But death also is invisible. Death takes the aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and friends. Invisible death hurts. Invisible death is personal and lasts. Death happens every day. My mother says it seems there are a lot of people dying lately because they were visible. Because they were admired by the public. Invisible death is also there. Every day. Every second. Invisible death sometimes can be the most visible to people around it. One thing is the same. Death exists. Everything and everyone die...
Read more

Well Hello Again

Image
Well here we are. Did not bet on re-entry to the blog world because rights are slowly dismantled. I have always chosen to believe that there is always balance. In the darkness, there are always bits of light and vice versa. More complicated these days I will admit. So. Here we are. All feelings are valid. So…left is figuring out the next steps. As of today…we are here. I am no spokesperson by any means or have any deep insight. I am not so wisdomous these days it seems. So instead I have strange stories and strange humor. For today, here are some pinpricks of light in the darkness. Not sure how long this will last so let’s get to it. Song of the Day: “Easy Silence” The Chicks Resource of the day: Death Doula Network: wearedopo.com Artwork of the day:    
Read more

And Now Folks...

Image
What is anxiety? Well…and bear with me…Wow I feel like I use that phrase a lot…It is that dark shadowy self that will yell and whisper and grab you with the question, “What if?”             “What if by looking at flights you bought one and now you are going to Florence, Italy against your will? What if that bump is cancer? What if that friend of yours hates you? What if you are not worth life? These spiral about until your heart start thumping so hard that you think it is going to explode and your whole body seizes with panic.             I have lost friends because of the fact that when it gets this bad I reach out to ANYONE who will tell me, convince me, or lie to me that it is going to be OKAY. This leads to five texts in a row of “hi’s” and “I need you’s” that would probably freak out any other person that did not have a front row seat to what...
Read more